Monday, October 26, 2009

Keep Hands In Pocket When Nervous...Or So I've Heard!

Yeah, this can be true. You never know when this can happen to you!

So, you finally mustered up the courage to ask that cute girl who sits behind you in World History out to the movies on a Friday night. And what do you know?? She actually said YES! Ain't you the man...

You decide to keep it simple and do the classic movie first date. After all, that work study check you got this month is already depleted and dinner may be pushing it just a bit too much. What if she doesn't feel the same vibe you're feeling? That's too much money to ris invest so soon. But you have to take a chance anyway, right? So it's off to AMC theater with your pride in your hand, your heart in your stomach and your wallet almost on E.

So, I he decided to meet her at the movie theater originally. But P had her own nice BMW (thanks to Daddy) and said she'd pick...ahmm..him..up by his dorm. Yeah, he definitely was feeling like the man. Got her picking me up on the first date. Fifteen awkward yet almost silent minutes later (silence broken at least by the N'Sync CD playing in her car) they got to the movie. The line was not too long but growing. When they're finally by the ticket booth, he pulls out his debit card and student ID while hoping he has sufficient funds to cover their both tickets. She already pulled out her own card to pay but he told her it was on him and it was okay. A free least he had to pay something, right?

The law according to Chuck Norris says that you can't take a girl to a first date at the movies and not get popcorn and soda. Not wanting to offend Mr. Norris and get a roundhouse kick to the head, he goes to the line to once again defy fate and a possible insufficient balance. It's the first date, after all, and he's been ogling her for weeks now. He needs to make a good impression tonight. The man code hints at getting one bag of kettle corn to share between them to increase the chance of romance and sparks. He heeds this assertion wisely.

It's a good movie. An action/adventure flick with a few romantic scenes so far. She smiles at him now and again so he knows she must be enjoying herself or at least pretending to. It's been an hour into the movie and he decides it's time for the move. Good thing this movie is almost 2 hours and 20 minutes long. Good pick, buddy! But he is really nervous and wants to pull it off smoothly and correctly. I mean, how hard can it be? Everyone's done it at least once in the movies before, not so? What better time than this?

He turns and ask her if she's cold. She replies by saying," Yeah, a bit.". They both continue looking at the movie. He shrugs his shoulder and thinks, "Here goes nothing." He stretches partially and raise his right arm to scratch the back of his neck for a second. Now or never. He's about to extend his arm across to finally let it rest on her shoulder and bring her closer to him. He didn't count on being this nervous.



She turns around. GASP! OH MY GO...

Dang...Not now...why did this have to happen like this...
Now she'll never like me or maybe go out with me again...


Case of poorly, executed, clumsy arm-over-shoulder. Awkward. Guy's arm stretches behind instead of straight across date's seat and hits the other guy's coke out of his hand. On to his lap. Drink spills everywhere. This other guy is sitting in seat behind P. Embarrassed. Mortified. End of date night success. End of date after movie. Awkward silence back to dorm except for N'Sync's occasional harmonies.

Keep hands in pocket (or to self) when nervous...or so I've heard!!


5 spoke already...add your 2¢:

Ms. Dirty Cupcake said...

nice strikethrough ;) well, this definitely sucks but it's super funny! it would definitely be a cute story to tell at your wedding or 25yr anniversary. (self: whoa! stop right there with that crazy talk! it's just his friends first date.)
if the girl won't give THAT guy a chance maybe she's not worth much. tell your friend good luck!

bananas. said...

OH MAN! talk about a FAIL! wow...makes me happy to be the girl in these kinds of moments.

The Peach Tart said...

yikes. perhaps you should have a cocktail before the date to relax.

Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills said...

>ms.dirty cupcake: Yeah. Lol. A story that..aah..he could definitely tell the kids. And yes, valuable like gold.

>bananas: Funny but true. It was a fail. Imagine the guy who got splashed on. Not embarrassed. Just pissed.

>peach tart: Aah. Cocktails and anything of the liquor family does help one to relax, gain confidence, gain sexy points, become more attractive and good looking and become funnier to those around him. Wait. Or is that just the 'drank' working its 'charm'?

Anonymous said...

Man, I hope it's not you back in the day you're talking about Dave. Tha's mad funny ish.


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