Mark My Words

So as I do every other day or so, I hit the "Next Blog" button on the Google dashboard above my blog's header. It's actually a great way to randomly find other blogs to read and comment on as well as a good way to possibly meet new bloggers. And hopefully, draw more traffic to your blog if you're interested in that...

Well, today was just one of those days. And firstly, I was glad that Google somehow heard my complaints. This time most of the blogs (more than 4/5) were in English. Yet this time I was still bothered! Instead of the results being random blogs in English like I wanted it to be, they seemed to be stuck in the same category as the first blog that I came across after leaving my site.

So, for five minutes I was lost all in travel blogs, then the next three minutes it was stirring around in all cooking blogs. I went back to my dashboard and started again, truly intent on finding some new blogs to read. This time, a family blog popped up. Well, rather a blog with dozens of pictures of someone's baby from every angle doing every possible thing from bathing to eating to sleeping to nursing. It creeped me out a bit I must admit.

Yet, what creeped me out even more was the fear that I was about to be stuck in another time warp of over-exposed and under-dressed kids, smiling moms and dads along for the ride. My scientific mind decided to do a statistical experiment to see how many I would come across before it stopped. Here are the results:

Overall Time Stuck In Family Blog ~~Hel~~ World: 28 minutes
Total Blogs Browsed: 123
Average Number of Blogs Browsed Per Minute: 4
Number of Female Authors: 119
Number of Male Authors: 4
Estimated Average Number of Pictures of Kids Per Blog: Error - Number Outside Count Range
Estimated Average Number of Pictures of Kids Per Article:8
Estimated Average Number of Inappropriate Pictures of Kids: Error - Way Too Effin Much!?!
Amount of Personal/Classified/Private Information Shared: Error - Way Too Effin Much!?!

Am I the only one who feels a bit uneasy about this? And imagine I'm not even the parents posting pictures, names, birthdays, pictures of their houses both inside and outside, addresses etc. I'm mortified at the thought of how easy this could be accessed by the wrong person. On the news you see way too many instances of sick adults who indulge in even sicker pleasures that end up in innocent children being hurt. This is like leaving a kid in a candy store overnight with free access to everything (pun intended). It's all out there like Britney Spears' famous exiting-car-showing-vajajay shots or Spencer Pratt's lack of appeal/intelligence/charisma.

So, yes while I understand that you may be so proud of your newborn or offspring (which I congratulate and support), it may be true (gasp!) that not everyone may be as enthusiastic as you are. Obviously I'd expect family, close friends, and blogger with similar persuasions to be the ones you'd share these photos, smiles, laughter and moments with. Yet, always consider that leaving such a blog fully open and non-restricted may not always be a great idea. Way too many sickos and perverts out there. Try restricting the availability of your 'kid's' blog a bit to be safe.

This is one of the ills of the vastly extensive social networking capabilites of society today. Anybody and I mean anybody (sex offenders down the street, perps in jail) can network or blog. They can even use a fake name and profile. After all the milk cartons, child abduction reports, and ads in the newspaper scare me enough and I don't have a kid!

On a different note, some of these pictures are truly hilarious. Even funnier is the captions that some of these mothers put. Not only am I concerned that if these kids ever read this blog later when they grow up they may be scarred but that they may be pissed that whatever their mom wrote was definitely NOT what they were thinking at the time. Some captions were:

HOPPY WEEN (kid smiling in bunny costume for Halloween)
Bucket head (kid with bucket over head)
I like my ducky (slightly annoyed kid given a bath)I
I love when my mommy rubs soap on my head (same as above)
I made stinky! (child given a diaper change)
Nearly naked baby! (pretty much naked baby)
I came out of my mommy's tummy (child sleeping in crib)
I can't find my hand, mommy! (kid with hand in pants)

Another thing that may come off as slightly annoying to some is the obsession you may have with posting a picture of every single thing your child does, wears, eats. By all means, keep a great record that you can look back on and treasure. Though sometimes instead of sharing it with the World Wide Wackos, try a CD or photo album instead. Yay!

Now can the "Next Blog" button link me to a different category? Please?

Aargh!

P.S. In keeping with the data obtained from my research, I have included 8 baby pictures in this article. Though not all I think one would be happy to post online.

Disclaimer: Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills, Mark My Words and http://markthisup.blogspot.com in no way condones, tolerates, promotes, supports, encourages, advertises, justifies or endorses child pornography, adverse pedophiliac behavior, and/or the excessive and irresponsible posting of under-dressed, over-exposed children online.

As a kid, I never actually had an attic. Though thanks to the vicarious ability of television and the powerful imagination of pre-tweens, my closet would magically transform into the perfect monster-haunting, creepy-crawler hiding space for any monster I saw on TV a few hours before bedtime.

I would swear I would imagine the scraping, shuffling, dragging noises coming from above me were real and not simply in my head. Not sure if it was the Boogieman or Chucky from Child's Play or some other ghoulish fiend like that dude from the show with the lady and those poor, eight kids.

Sometimes, we can relive our childhood memories, good and bad. I've realized that is one memory I would rather forget. But apparently, that's not my luck.