Sunday, February 7, 2010

Honorable Mention

To those who've made this list, I say kudos to you! Well done...
You help my day in some way by allowing me to express some emotion in one way or the other...

1. The swerving driver in front of me.
- You help me to maintain my agility and short-response reflexes while sharpening my multi-tasking skills while I express myself vocally at you.

2. The post-editing crew that uploads probably illegal footage from shows, productions to YouTube.
- You help me (probably at the subsequent loss of your job) to have a laugh a day which is truly good medicine.

3. The idiot in front of me that likes to change lanes without using your blinker. I also call you swinger*.
- You help me to practice, hone and sharpen my telepathy skills since I have to effin' deduce that you suddenly want to come in front of me.

4. The lady who forgot to pick up your dog's poop near my apartment last Saturday.
- You help me to remember what a great sense of smell I have when I have to pass and smell your dog's ish every day this week on my way to my door.

5. The little kid who is running around in WalMart (I shop there a lot) looking for his mother, crying and shouting in Spanish.
- You help me to realize that I will train my kids to be behaved in public and stop throwing tantrums if I'm right there in the aisle looking at you.

6. To the mother of the little kid running around in WalMart who is looking for you, crying and shouting in Spanish.
- You help me to realize that I will not leave my kids unsupervised in public settings to further embarrass me by throwing tantrums because I do not keep them near me. And that not seeing me will make them panic hysterically which will lead to public embarrassment on my part.

7. To the many friends on Facebook with incorrect spelling in your statuses.
- You help me to be always grateful for the sufficient education I had in English structure, composition and grammar.

8. To the 5'6'' guy who lives above and walks and stomps with heavy iron feet and makes odd noises during the night. Of late, you have decided to play with your bowling balls, steel chains and cement bricks when I'm trying to sleep.
- You help me to appreciate the fact that I will never live below someone like you again. Or maybe below anyone period.

9. To the person who writes with all CAPS on their Facebook, Twitter, [insert any social media network] constantly.
- You help me to be happy that I have a full, working keyboard and my CAPS button isn't stuck and also to remind me that I get pissed because I think you're always 'shouting' when you write and it helps me to control my anger...sometimes..


Well, these are all for now. Yet, the list shall be continued...

Kudos to you. Kudos to you all.

* swinger - someone who changes lanes erratically without any indication to drivers behind him
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