#twittermethistwittermethat

I'm fighting the urge each day to resist joining.

I have always been a strong anti-Twitterer because I believed they were nothing more than glorified facebook statuses. Isn't the Book of Faces not enough already? I still had a hard time up to this day trying to see the relevance. Yet, I think I've begun to see the light more or perhaps it's just an evil, mind-controlling but cute little, blue birdie whispering in my ear, " Follow me..."

RT @twitteruser "Your daily life is NOT as exciting as you think".

The Verizon ad with the dad on the couch tweeting that, guess what?!, he's sitting on the couch is hilarious. They don't know how much they hit the nail on the head with that one. It seems the majority of people who tweet do exactly this. Just this.
I think they may want to become tweetstars with the possible hopes of getting a breakthrough into celebrity status as a reality TV show actor.

Although I'm not on Twitter, I see many status updates on various sites like Blogger, Facebook, Diggs or other social media. I think there should be a law against trying to get people to follow you or give two hoots about what you're doing if you're not cool, popular, interesting, or charismatic enough. An example of good and hilarious tweeting is by my fellow writer and blogger expert, Ms. LiLu. From what I've seen, she makes followers laugh, reflect, gasp in awe, laugh their funny asses off and engage them in twittertwatter. By the way, I've made up so many twitter references and words in this article, I should be fined or venerated. I think one should tweet to add expansion to one's thought processes, blogs, opinions, people's view on life and even yours and allow for feedback that might not work that well on another format.

@you. Yes I know you think I want to know that you're on your way to the dentist or you're late for work and driving and tweeting at the same time to get there (you're probably one of those people that I look out for while driving who occasionally swerve into my lane...). Or even that you finally realize you like Twinkies more than Honey Buns. But sadly for the rest of us, it's really not that interesting. It's like an imaginary camera placed in everyone's life to follow them around like those cameras that follow those poor Plus Eight kids around. And then we're forced to watch even if we don't actually follow you. You're not interesting as those kids. In fact, they're actually much more interesting than you (gasp!) may ever be. And they're kids, so people naturally think they're cute and adorable. Don't make me an unwilling Papa Rat See to your oh so engaging, exciting, and fun-filled daily routine. Please.

Twitter 101. Try to imagine you're on a constant stage or your film reel is always rolling. Give us laughter, give us drama, give us comedy, give us hope, give us love, give us agony, give us inspirati.

Scratch that! Although this is all good and I love positive stuff, what irks me is when people update their twitter status every minute (literally) with a positive quote from someone famous, renowned or likewise. This one person on my Facebook feed, who I'm about to hit the block button on, does this all the time. Scroll down and you see his name with his status "updated via Twitter" with a new quote every 60 seconds I refresh my page. I'm not pessimistic in any way, well not usually. I'm more a hopeful realist than deranged pessimist or blind optimist. And these words, these quotes are not what this 'guru' is actually saying or thinking. I'd be better off trying to follow Ghandi or King and their quotes via some quote search page.

@youtwitteruser. Why not try putting some of your own words instead or saying how this applied to your life or how you use this daily? Unfortunately, starting a twitter account and copying and pasting other people's quotes from www.dailyquotes.com to your status every hour doesn't a microwaveable guru or life coach make. Yes, this guy felt he had the need and nerve to establish himself as a life coach on his twitter page (it's open so you can see all the stuff he's C&Pasted in life). And it's over 4,326 statuses which is annoying to me since probably only 3% are his own words. Way to go, oh wise Yoda! Teach me 'your' sayings daily. Let me suscribe to your RSS (pronounced "arss").

Until I join the tweetoverse and who knows when that may happen, I hope you can find the good tweeters out there among the blue bird poop that is reeking everywhere. The other Real Lames of America will continue to tweet sadly and tell everyone to follow them. Probably straight into Boredom Lane, Mundaneville or Trivial Square. They will continue to tweet about whether or not they should take daily vitamins or get their dog that slutty, canine Halloween costume they saw at the pet store. Or give a verbal GPS update every 60 seconds about where they are parked, what shoes they are wearing and that they are at work making that money. Someone help us, make a list of all the good ones if you can...

If you tweet, please tweet responsibly. And remember friends don't let friends tweet junk.

#ifyouareboringthenwedonotcare. Aargh!

#twittermethistwittermethat