Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I'm fighting the urge each day to resist joining.

I have always been a strong anti-Twitterer because I believed they were nothing more than glorified facebook statuses. Isn't the Book of Faces not enough already? I still had a hard time up to this day trying to see the relevance. Yet, I think I've begun to see the light more or perhaps it's just an evil, mind-controlling but cute little, blue birdie whispering in my ear, " Follow me..."

RT @twitteruser "Your daily life is NOT as exciting as you think".

The Verizon ad with the dad on the couch tweeting that, guess what?!, he's sitting on the couch is hilarious. They don't know how much they hit the nail on the head with that one. It seems the majority of people who tweet do exactly this. Just this.
I think they may want to become tweetstars with the possible hopes of getting a breakthrough into celebrity status as a reality TV show actor.

Although I'm not on Twitter, I see many status updates on various sites like Blogger, Facebook, Diggs or other social media. I think there should be a law against trying to get people to follow you or give two hoots about what you're doing if you're not cool, popular, interesting, or charismatic enough. An example of good and hilarious tweeting is by my fellow writer and blogger expert, Ms. LiLu. From what I've seen, she makes followers laugh, reflect, gasp in awe, laugh their funny asses off and engage them in twittertwatter. By the way, I've made up so many twitter references and words in this article, I should be fined or venerated. I think one should tweet to add expansion to one's thought processes, blogs, opinions, people's view on life and even yours and allow for feedback that might not work that well on another format.

@you. Yes I know you think I want to know that you're on your way to the dentist or you're late for work and driving and tweeting at the same time to get there (you're probably one of those people that I look out for while driving who occasionally swerve into my lane...). Or even that you finally realize you like Twinkies more than Honey Buns. But sadly for the rest of us, it's really not that interesting. It's like an imaginary camera placed in everyone's life to follow them around like those cameras that follow those poor Plus Eight kids around. And then we're forced to watch even if we don't actually follow you. You're not interesting as those kids. In fact, they're actually much more interesting than you (gasp!) may ever be. And they're kids, so people naturally think they're cute and adorable. Don't make me an unwilling Papa Rat See to your oh so engaging, exciting, and fun-filled daily routine. Please.

Twitter 101. Try to imagine you're on a constant stage or your film reel is always rolling. Give us laughter, give us drama, give us comedy, give us hope, give us love, give us agony, give us inspirati.

Scratch that! Although this is all good and I love positive stuff, what irks me is when people update their twitter status every minute (literally) with a positive quote from someone famous, renowned or likewise. This one person on my Facebook feed, who I'm about to hit the block button on, does this all the time. Scroll down and you see his name with his status "updated via Twitter" with a new quote every 60 seconds I refresh my page. I'm not pessimistic in any way, well not usually. I'm more a hopeful realist than deranged pessimist or blind optimist. And these words, these quotes are not what this 'guru' is actually saying or thinking. I'd be better off trying to follow Ghandi or King and their quotes via some quote search page.

@youtwitteruser. Why not try putting some of your own words instead or saying how this applied to your life or how you use this daily? Unfortunately, starting a twitter account and copying and pasting other people's quotes from to your status every hour doesn't a microwaveable guru or life coach make. Yes, this guy felt he had the need and nerve to establish himself as a life coach on his twitter page (it's open so you can see all the stuff he's C&Pasted in life). And it's over 4,326 statuses which is annoying to me since probably only 3% are his own words. Way to go, oh wise Yoda! Teach me 'your' sayings daily. Let me suscribe to your RSS (pronounced "arss").

Until I join the tweetoverse and who knows when that may happen, I hope you can find the good tweeters out there among the blue bird poop that is reeking everywhere. The other Real Lames of America will continue to tweet sadly and tell everyone to follow them. Probably straight into Boredom Lane, Mundaneville or Trivial Square. They will continue to tweet about whether or not they should take daily vitamins or get their dog that slutty, canine Halloween costume they saw at the pet store. Or give a verbal GPS update every 60 seconds about where they are parked, what shoes they are wearing and that they are at work making that money. Someone help us, make a list of all the good ones if you can...

If you tweet, please tweet responsibly. And remember friends don't let friends tweet junk.

#ifyouareboringthenwedonotcare. Aargh!

9 spoke already...add your 2¢:

LiLu said...

I'm not supposed to tweet my junk?


Thanks for the shout out, darlin! ;-)

Sabrina C. Willis said...

Too funny and too true...I do not use my twitter for exactly those reasons, I mean, who wants to know that's I'm taking a study break, or eating lunch?!?!?

The Peach Tart said...

I had someone yesterday tweet that they were only the toilet. Really, how interesting.

Meg said...

i joined twitter months ago when everyone was doing it...and I'm pretty sure I have updated it once. I have grown to hate it a lot. I don't need to know what people are doing every moment of every day!

Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills said...

@lilu: I would join Twitter just for your comedic updates! Lol..

@sabrina: You know?! Exactly.

@peach tart: Did they also say when they were finished? Sigh. More interesting would have been they were tweeting and that phone fell in the bowl and they had to pick it back up and clean it off. Now that's a tweet...maybe it might fall under the famous TMI Thursday category but entertaining none the less!

@meg: Sometimes it can feel like overload. But hey, who doesn't wish deep down to be a paparazzi to the lives of everyone? (evil laugh). Sign me up, coach!

Anonymous said...

There is one solid thing that I appreciate about Twitter; the attention that it can bring to important global issues. Most of the rest of it I could do without, I completely agree with the extreme overuse of filling people in on every second of the day. Come to think about it I may be overusing my facebook statuses!

bananas. said...

UGHHH! i hate twitter...but you should know that :)

thanks for stopping by my blog. i like your name. it rocks.

i do have a question...what's with the @ before everything? i don't know why but it annoys me.

have a great weekend yo!

emily said...

as you probably know already after reading my post, i love this. i do actually belong to twitter, but i rarely tweet and I don't get it. i too find myself asking all the time, "wait, isn't this just a facebook status update?"

thanks for stopping by my blog!

Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills said...

@rucamosgirl: Yeah, I think it has potential to be a great social medium. Just that some people use it like a verbal paparazzi of every minute of their lives. Lol.

@bananas: Thanks! And yeah I do. :) I'm not sure about the @. I did it to be in the whole "Twitter" theme of the article. Not sure as yet how it works with Twitter other than to reply to someone's tweet.

@emily: You're most welcome! And yeah, I've been thinking the same thing about the facebook status update ever since it came out.

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